i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
love makes seman taste better
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
