I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
