my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
