dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
