Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
