theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
