Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
