I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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