some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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