Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
