This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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