just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
