If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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