i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
