508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
