The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
