i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
