NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
