I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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