He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. š¦
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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