My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize