saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
