I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
