I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
