I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
