i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
