You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize