A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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