I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
