we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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