Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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