Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
