Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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