I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
