I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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