So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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