At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
