I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
