Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
