Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
