I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
