Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
