explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
