im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
