I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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