it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
