its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
