Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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