You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
