Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Say something about gay babies.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
