i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
