what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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