I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
