so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
