Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
