Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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