thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
