Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
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