im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
