What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
