Please, let me fuck your mom
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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