dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
