I wanna bring you to show and tell
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
