there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He better not be in your backpack
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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