Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She told me I should be a condom model.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
