My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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