p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
