I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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