you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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