Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
