worst night to have a conscience
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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