I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
